Strategies for task avoidance, hyperfocus and busy lives
It was planned as a hot seat session. It turned into a strategy and systems session, because the questions from the room were ones so many founders carry
One member asked about putting things off until they became huge. Another asked about hyperfocus. A third asked how to keep working through a major life event.
Here is what I shared, so you can use it too.
First, a word about brains
Tiredness, stress and perimenopause all lower our capacity to get things done add in AuDHD, ADHD and many of us are starting the 'working' day depleted.
You don't need a diagnosis to use these strategies. If your capacity is stretched, for any reason, they are for you.
Is this you? It's me
I want to be open about why these strategies matter so much to me.
I'm AuDHD, which means I'm autistic and ADHD. I'm a solopreneur, in perimenopause and on HRT. I've lived with depression on and off. And I'm a single mum to a teen.
So when I talk about breaking tasks down, setting up your space or booking recovery time, this isn't theory from a productivity book. It's how I run my business and my life. Most days these systems work. Some days they don't, and then I change them.
It's ADHD Awareness Month. If you see yourself in the questions below, you're in good company. You're not lazy and you're not failing. Your brain needs systems that fit it, and so does mine.
Question 1: Which Works Best: Multitasking or hyperfocus.
Our brains don't multitask.
That's why I use Time Blocking (my 4 B's Method):
They switch very fast between one thing and the next. It's like closing one book and opening another, over and over, and every switch costs energy. Add in timeblindness and a day, the week can end with exhaustion and little achieved.
- Batch similar tasks, like all the calls and agenda work for one event.
- Block real time in your calendar for them.
- Bundle related admin together.
- Box anything that could expand to fill your whole day.
How I handle hyperfocus?
My hyperfocus: is not just getting lost in one thing I love while everything else gets ignored, it is also getting lost because perfectionism is at play.
Hyperfocus is both a strength and a challenge. Time boxing helps here too. So does day theming.
I theme my days. Client conversations set my brain on fire with ideas. If I then sit down to write policies, I start redesigning them instead of documenting them. So client calls and admin live on different days, or at least in different halves of the day.
When I do switch, I build in a change. A dog walk, a meal, a different room. On Wednesday afternoons I stop work and do house and garden jobs. Afterwards my brain is fresh and I'm ready to be creative again.
TOP TIP: Make your calendar tell the truth
Last month a one-hour call ran to three hours. That evening I sat on the sofa wondering why I was so drained after only two meetings. My calendar showed me why. My calendar is my go to so, daily and weekly, I update my calendar with what actually happened.
An overfull calendar and an empty one can be equally harmful.
Map what happens for a few weeks and the pattern shows you what to change. Then you can be kinder to yourself.
There is not right or wrong way:I worked with a client who chose to have her coaching calls back to back on one day. I would never usually advise that, but it suited her. Back to back, they didn't overrun. The days after demanding work had nothing allocated at all. If she rested, there was no guilt.
Question 2: Am I lazy ? The 'put it off, and then I spiral' mess
I get ask this alot. And you are not lazy!
A piece of work feels daunting, so it gets put off. The longer it waits, the bigger and scarier it gets. Then comes the anxiety, and the self-criticism for not doing it.
Everyone procrastinates a little. The spiral is what makes it painful.
Here are 7 ideas to stack to break it.
- Break it into pieces and put them in your diary. I loathe doing finances. If my calendar says "Finances", my brain sees invoicing, the tax return and HMRC all at once, and it overloads. So my diary says "Do invoicing" one Friday and "Balance the books" the next. My brain only has to do the job in front of it.
- If you're visual, write each piece of a project on its own post-it. Scoping, finding people, first draft. Then pull one off the wall and do that piece.
- Start with two minutes. Tell yourself you'll do two minutes, even if it's only the planning. Once you've given yourself one step and a slot, you'll often find your way through the rest.
- Give it a deadline. Parkinson's law says work expands to fill the time you give it. You can clean your house in an hour, or take all day. A deadline gives your brain something to work towards.
- Swap four frogs for four treats. "Eat the frog" says do your hardest tasks first. After a good night's sleep, that can work. After a stressful week, opening your calendar to four frogs is a lot. So try four treats instead. Make a phone call, do some filing, clear part of your inbox. That quick hit of achievement sets you up for the harder work.
- Box it to beat perfectionism. I can wordsmith a LinkedIn post for ten minutes or an hour. A time limit says "this is good enough". If a proposal is due Friday, box an hour a day for it. At the end of each hour you can stop without anxiety, because you know more time is coming tomorrow.
- Try a timer. The Pomodoro technique works well for writing. Sit and write for a set time, whatever you're thinking. The first draft is always rough, but you no longer have a blank page.
Question 3 : Brain Fog, Forgetfulness and keeping track
Setting up spaces so you don't have to remember
We do this by the front door without thinking. Keys, coats and umbrellas sit where we'll see them on the way out. The same idea works everywhere. Vitamins next to the toothbrush. Pens, notebooks and chargers within reach at your desk. Habits stack when things are in your line of sight.
This matters most on hard days. It is not adding in more thinking. The system does it for me. My calendar has the links, the address, numbers, agenda. My task list links to email, files and how-to. My inbox is filtered, labeled. Process are written so delegation is easy.
When a system stops working, change it. I stopped hearing my phone alarms, so I changed the ringtones. That's not failure. It's maintenance.
Question 4: "How do I keep working through a major life event?"
Organising yourself while something big is happening from a celebration, a move, a child changing schools, a parent going into care or a bereavement.
If it has a date attached, plan backwards from it. Then think about recovery.
My advice for any big life event:
- Block decompression time after hard conversations, appointments or travel. Don't put them back to back with anything else. Trying to be creative or write a proposal, host a meeting, rushing, is setting yourself up for failure.
- Tell people when you're available. Use your calendar, an out of office or a line in your email signature. You don't have to disclose why.
- Decide, rather than compromise. I work part-time, because I've learned I can't do a full-time week and be the parent I want to be. I stopped calling that a compromise. It's a decision, and deciding gives me back a sense of control.
- Protect the hard task before. Don't put an activity that will flow on, that will generate tasks. Know when your brain is fresh, and put the hard task there. Tell yourself the night before what you'll start with in the morning.
Success isn't about having it all
I ended the session with a piece I'd been reading by Emma Grede, guest careers editor for Red magazine. She runs several businesses and has four children, and people constantly ask how she does it all. Her answers fitted our conversation:
- She plans everything. She doesn't leave her days to chance or to other people. Know your big goal, because purpose gets you through when willpower runs low.
- She picks quality over quantity. She chooses the moments that matter most to her, and doesn't sign up for the rest. Your list will look different, and that's the point.
- She skips the non-essential. For the rest of us, that might be a recipe box, a cleaner, a VA or not mowing the lawn.
- She lets other people do it their way. Hand over decisions, not only tasks. If you write the shopping list for the person cooking dinner, it will always land back with you.
- She makes time for herself. Book your recovery time and don't feel guilty about it.
- She manages her guilt and lets it go. Ask what you would do differently. Sometimes the answer is nothing, and then you let it go.
People Pleasing is not a sin
People pleasing came up too. It makes us overcommit, and I'm still working on it myself. Recently I met someone I find draining. I booked my parking for 90 minutes and set a timer. I gave them my full attention until it went off. One day I'll say "I have an hour" without needing the parking excuse.
People pleasing can also work for you. When I was depressed, the dog wasn't being walked and I wasn't leaving the house. I knew I'd never let a friend down, so I booked dog walks with friends, all on the same day of the week. Two years on, I walk every Saturday at half past ten with my friend Kirsten and my dog Bert. It's in the diary, and now it's a habit.
Choose what works for you
I shared a lot of strategies in that session. The most important thing is choosing what works for you.
One client works in the evenings after her children are in bed. Some people would call that hustle. It isn't. She starts late, does the school run and supper, and evening is when she has energy. She chose it.
So choose your version. Four treats instead of four frogs. Colour in your calendar. Post-its on the wall. Blend them. And when something stops working, change it.
We are all doing the best we can with the awareness we have today. Start to notice what you notice. That's where the next change comes from.
Want to go further?
All 11 of the strategies I drew on are in my free guide, 11 Ways to Get It Done, DM me for the pdf
Want your calendar to do more of the remembering? Start free with my 9-minute Burnout-Proof Calendar course.
Ready for a system built around your brain and your business? Book a Business Clarity Call.
